try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
