Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
