It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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