What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
