We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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