well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
