i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
