i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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