If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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