[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
