you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
