Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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