you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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