I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
