Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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