ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
