I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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