i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
