so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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