You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
