Don't make out with my wife yet
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
