you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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