i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
