I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
