I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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