I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so that wasnt chicken after all
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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