Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"it" just moved
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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