it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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