You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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