the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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