It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
