Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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