I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
