Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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