Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
