Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Randomize
