he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
