Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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