It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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