Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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