I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
