You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Couch. On fire.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
