So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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