I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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