This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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