i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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