the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
