they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
me + whiskey = a bad person
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
