Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
