Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
